White Privilege. Implicit Bias. Pull Up a Chair.

I would like to welcome you to the Round Table. There is coffee, tea, enough food to keep you nourished.   I ask you to take off your shoes, remove all baggage and the burdens you carry, sit down, arms out in front, palms raised. This is a safe place. And it is a place where we need to show up and be truthful. This is a place where we can be honest about our stories, and how our stories and journeys deeply inform how we think about, view, and interpret the world […]

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When Your Shoes Do Not Fit Me.

We say “if you could only walk a mile in another’s shoes” but frankly – most likely those shoes will not fit. Right? I am a sucker for metaphors, symbolism, idioms, even a hyperbole or two. No question. As a mother, I find this phrase to be a beautiful springboard for conversations that lead to a better understanding of our neighbors and the nurturing of empathy, which I believe to be one of the most important responsibilities for me as a parent. The heart of a child is open and receptive to […]

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Chasing Sunsets

I know I am preaching to the choir, here, but sunsets. Oh my goodness. I love them. Always have. My favorite type of sunsets are the ones here on the West Coast that settle down over the Pacific. I have hundreds of captures. I am sharing some of my favorites here with you. I turned 44 years old this past weekend. God willing, I am at about the half way point through my life. What an ushering in of the Second Half it was! I really try to keep my […]

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10th Anniversary

I cannot believe it. Honestly. On Saturday, June 20th, we completely missed the 10th Anniversary of Bella’s Kidney Transplant. Missed it. Woosh. Is that a good thing? I guess it is in the sense that life has moved on. And we are living it. And Bella is doing well. My body knew, however. I felt like crap on Saturday and could not figure out why. Now I know. Ten years ago. Ten years ago, early in the morning, I watched as the two people on earth I loved the most […]

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To My Husband.

We met across the ocean. Under the shadow of a beautiful Bohemian cathedral, cobblestone streets, medieval architecture, and the best beer in the world – we fell in love. And it was the controversial type of love, as I was his teacher and he was a student in my conversation class. Upon completion of my job, we were both surprised to discover that “my best friend is in love with me!”   We came back to the States – an international couple trying to fit into the box of “Carrie’s […]

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Moving Back a Row

My daughter graduated from Kindergarten today. For the end of the year program, each class takes turns standing up on the stage and performing their recitations. My daughter’s class had a song, a poem, and a Bible verse to recite. My daughter HATES recitation. And truth be told – it is really not her strength. So, she stood up there on the stage with her purple glasses and her gorgeous dark brown skin amid the paler, and her height placing her smack dab in the middle, and she fidgeted and […]

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Please Come Back For Me.

Last weekend, I got to fulfill something on my bucket list by attending International Justice Mission’s Global Prayer Gathering (GPG) in Washington, D.C. I was there at the invitation of a non-profit for which I do some contract work. The GPG is an international gathering of all of IJM’s field directors in various places around the world. Over the course of the two day conference, I and over 1500 other attendants had the privilege of hearing about the work of IJM. After each field director shared an update, he or […]

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Remember.

Bella asked me tonight if I remembered the day of her birth. Boy, do I. I remember so many things, and yet, there is so much I do not remember. I remember the roads to the hospital – the route we took so many times. Too many times. I remember the look on my doctor’s face as he read that long trail of paper coming out of a machine at the end of all the wires and connectors and sticky things all over my body. The look on his face was followed by these words, “Care (he always called me ‘Care’) :: we need to perform an emergency C-section on you, Kiddo. Right now.” That was all he said – that was all he needed to say. The look on his face said the rest. I remember, that during the C-Section, the anesthesiologist whispered encouragement in my ear:: “You are doing great, Carrie. ” “Don’t you worry. Everything is going well.” I remember seeing my Bella for the first time as the doctor raised her up – she did not make a sound – and then she was rushed out of the room. She was brought back in, but I was not allowed to hold her. Not yet, they said. I remember sitting in a meeting room, in a circle of chairs, all doctors and specialists. I remember tears streaming down my doctor’s face:: “I wish I could have known,” […]

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We're Different, We're the Same.

We’re Different, You and I. It’s true. We’re the Same, You and I. It’s true.     I believe in the value of reformed health care. You believe it is complete rubbish. We’re different. When my daughter was sick, you pitched in. You know hurt, and pain, and loss. As do I. We’re the same.     I noticed when I posted that article, crafting my own words around it in a formulaic “Amen”, you subsequently posted an article purporting the opposite. Our views. They are different. When we sat down […]

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The Beauty of the Inhale

There are moments. Moments like this – in the midst of the chaos external and internal where there is Pause. It catches you off-guard. You literally stop in your tracks. Silence. The moment is so pronounced that you are acutely aware of your Inhale. Innnnnnnn….. The lungs expand. You hold your breath – not wanting to let go of the moment before the exhale. Senses are heightened. An epiphany happens. Was it real? It certainly was. And you are left feeling so grateful. For the gift of revelation. That moment. Perspective. Belovedness. […]

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