A few weeks ago, I took my two daughters to a medical practice for something routine.

My eldest, always at the ready to greet anyone with a smile and a hug, produced both to those willing to receive them.

My youngest, however, responded to the offer of physical contact, by turning her body away from this individual and firmly stating that she wanted to be left alone.

At this point the individual looked at me, rolled her eyes and responded within earshot of both my daughters,



“That kind of drama is why I am so glad I have boys.”

First of all, I have to tell you I am more worried about my eldest daughter’s response to this almost stranger than I am about my youngest’s response. I believe we all to enthusiastically encourage females to be polite, complacent, and eager to please. And when they do not respond accordingly, we are quick to label it as “drama” or “strong-willed” (meaning we need to read some books on that as to how to tame it).

In regard to the particular statement said in front of my daughters.

Girls Playing in Surf // Edward Potthast // Painting Oil on canvasboard // Height: 21.59 cm (8.5 in.), Width: 26.67 cm (10.5 in.) // Private collection

I have heard it numerous times before, have you?

And if you are a mom of boys, perhaps there is an equivalent, but I cannot speak into that with any authority.

There are many from whom I have heard this statement made that I love and adore as mom friends. Many.  I am not in the business of using a blog to throw people under a bus.

This statement does hurt when it is said to me, however.
I’ll tell you why.

I had a very tough time getting pregnant.
I had a miscarriage while teaching my high school students one day.
I have a medically fragile child.
Our first Ethiopian daughter passed away from kidney failure before we could bring her home.

So, when I hear a statement such as was said by this medical professional, I just want to scream amidst tears,

Do you have ANY idea how much I longed for these two beautiful miracles with whom you have the extreme pleasure of interacting?!? 

And do you have any idea how many women are longing still?

Or mourning the loss?


My dearest friends who are Moms of boys :: if I should EVER say anything that could possible elicit the same kind of response as above, I am giving you my full and eager permission to pull me aside and graciously school me about it.

My hope is that we as moms can unite together to seek out the very best we see in each other AND each other’s kids and to then use our voices to outwardly praise and build one another up.
Our kids need that from all of us.



Pin It on Pinterest