Eye of the Storm

We knew there would be rain. It’s the Pacific Northwest. And it is La Niña. So there is always rain. What we did not know, when we escaped to the Oregon Coast for a couple of nights as a family, is that there was a tremendous storm rolling in. And we would be, for a time, in it’s eye. We could hear it coming before it actually landed. We could see the ominous shadow as it moved, causing both sky and water to commingle into the same shade of dark […]

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This is Me

Like most of you, I am a huge fan of the television show, This is Us. And last night’s episode was no exception, so if you have not yet seen it, consider this your spoiler alert. As per usual, I DVR’d the episode so that I could watch it today by myself with no risk of distraction or disruption. And as per usual, I had tissues ready because I have yet to make it through an episode without demonstrable tears. As I watched the episode unfold, especially the character of […]

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The Greatest of These

We move into our new home on Sunday. This move has been a source of panic attacks and sadness for me and I have had trouble understanding why. I mean, this should be a source of joy and gratitude, right? What is wrong with me that I have felt anxiety and dread? One of the most frustrating things about trauma is that often one’s body and repressed memory responds before the present mind and body catches up. The last time Martin and I bought a home, we were pregnant with […]

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Exposed.

The roots of a tree in our backyard. In January. Exposed. Battling the elements. The connectors between the fruit, the trunk, branch, and leaf. The exposed roots continue underground. You can’t see them. The roots that seek out nourishment, sustaining the tree – in its entirety.   The roots of the tree in our backyard. In March. The roots are blanketed in moss. Protected from the adversarial elements. It’s as if the Giver of All Things whispers, Rest, Beloved. Take solace now. Trust me as you relinquish control. The battle […]

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A Friend is One.

I sat across the table from her. It was a gorgeous summer evening, and yet, the air was heavy. She was not her usual upbeat self, in fact, the deep grief was palpable. She had called me asking if I could meet last minute. I knew, from previous conversations, that this day was coming. As she shared, so vulnerable and honest, we wept together. This began a season of friendship between the two of us in which I had the beautiful privilege of being there for her through one of […]

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God is Not Done with You Yet.

Maybe it is just the time in life. Maybe it is the stage of life that I am in.   Regardless, there are many people in my village right now whose grief runs deep and wide. And unlike a Lifetime movie, it is jagged and rough. It is costly and relentless. It takes its toll physically, emotionally, relationally.   And it does not wrap up in a bow in under two hours.     If you have read any of my blogs, you are aware that I am in it, […]

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10.

My daughter turns 10 years old one week from today. My entire week has become devoted to planning the ultimate Minecraft party. We celebrate birthdays quite enthusiastically around here. Let me tell you why.   My Bella is a medically fragile child. I just learned that term about a year ago when a professional referred to her as such. So, there you go – a medically fragile child. Bella has Congenital Nephrotic Syndrome of the F1 variety – basically, the most rare. You can google it. Keep tissues handy if you […]

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