10.

My daughter turns 10 years old one week from today. My entire week has become devoted to planning the ultimate Minecraft party. We celebrate birthdays quite enthusiastically around here. Let me tell you why.   My Bella is a medically fragile child. I just learned that term about a year ago when a professional referred to her as such. So, there you go – a medically fragile child. Bella has Congenital Nephrotic Syndrome of the F1 variety – basically, the most rare. You can google it. Keep tissues handy if you […]

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Day 20

Today is Day 20. For twenty days now, we have been “grounded” in our flat, following Bella’s surgery. And I must tell you – it absolutely FEELS like 20 days. Time has not flown by in this regard. Yes, I have had some great times out of the flat, but I must be honest and say that they have been few and far between. My priority is my daughters. Our days are laden with a lot of the things most parents would cringe at. My daughters play wii together, they play Minecraft together, they watch movies, they play Animal Jam on the computer. And yes, I do try to play the role of the conscientious mother through our the day, integrating mandatory reading and craft time, and writing thank you letters. But it is all getting old, monotonous, I am teary-eyed all the time, have trouble sleeping because those hours after the girls go to bed are when my mind kicks in and the peace and quiet is like a cool drink of water on a hot day, and I am just feeling so defeated. I will not be in this place forever. I know that. This is a season of my life, and please know that I AM GRATEFUL that I can be home with my daughters right now. There are many things to be grateful for, and I do work at finding moments daily to stop and recognize […]

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Let Your Beautiful Mess Become Your Message

Bella had her first post-op appointment today. While in the waiting room, I found myself, like the fellow drones around me, reading a back issue of People magazine. I read a story about a celebrity who is in remission from cancer. Soon after her diagnosis, her mom passed away. One of her last conversations with her mom was one in which this celebrity relayed her fears about sharing her recent diagnosis with the public. Her mom’s response was this – Let Your Beautiful Mess Become Your Message. This celebrity took […]

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