I'm not Jen Hatmaker. So Be It.

I am sitting in bed with a wretched cough, weak, labored breathing from a chest that feels like it got stuck inside my hair flattening iron. I went to Urgent Care yesterday morning, admittedly hoping that they would find enough wrong with me to warrant a magical prescription that would cure me in 48 hours or less so that I could just get on with it. Instead, the doctor gave me a lecture. I was told that I had a nasty virus, and that if I did not SLOW DOWN […]

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God is Not Done with You Yet.

Maybe it is just the time in life. Maybe it is the stage of life that I am in.   Regardless, there are many people in my village right now whose grief runs deep and wide. And unlike a Lifetime movie, it is jagged and rough. It is costly and relentless. It takes its toll physically, emotionally, relationally.   And it does not wrap up in a bow in under two hours.     If you have read any of my blogs, you are aware that I am in it, […]

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10.

My daughter turns 10 years old one week from today. My entire week has become devoted to planning the ultimate Minecraft party. We celebrate birthdays quite enthusiastically around here. Let me tell you why.   My Bella is a medically fragile child. I just learned that term about a year ago when a professional referred to her as such. So, there you go – a medically fragile child. Bella has Congenital Nephrotic Syndrome of the F1 variety – basically, the most rare. You can google it. Keep tissues handy if you […]

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I Arise Today.

When our daughter Bella was born with Congenital Nephrotic Syndrome (Finnish Strain), I wholeheartedly believed that not only does God give us more than we can handle, but that her disease and subsequent issues surrounding that disease, would be our one and only burden to bear for our lifetime. I mean, honestly. God would not give us even more than what we already could not handle, right?!? This past summer, our Bella as you know, had surgery on both her ankles for something totally unrelated to her disease. It was an intense summer. You can see past blog posts about that. Then, this past week, we received our third recommendation for Bella to get further testing into some abnormal curvature in her back. And here is where my raw honesty will be set before you. I’ve had enough.   And clearly – my body and soul have as well. I have been sick for five weeks straight. A sinus infection, another virus, and then the migraines. Good God, the migraines. I have reached that point of sheer exhaustion. Being the mother of a chronically ill kid takes a toll in all the ways one would expect – I have done a crappy job of taking care of myself as all of my time and energy has been poured not only into Bella, but also making sure I never neglect Abeni. But there are other more subtle and just as intense […]

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