My Dear,
Like me, you have vinegar in your veins.
And you know what?
It has served you well and will continue to do so.
It’s a gift.
Do not let anyone tell you otherwise.
A beloved Octogenarian said this to me recently. She has known me since I was five years old.
And she is a spitfire. A mover and a shaker who has a long laundry list of accomplishments – ways she has impacted the world for the better.
There is something about this compliment from my dear friend that really hit me. I imagine that being a woman with vinegar in her veins was not seen as being particularly comely when my friend was my age.
I am guessing it was said about a woman in a more derogatory fashion.
I am guessing that when said about a woman, it implied somehow that a woman who showed strength, pushed back, spoke her mind, and bucked the system was not all sugar and spice and everything nice.
She was sour.
Like vinegar.
One of the greatest gifts I have ever received in my life is multi-generational female mentorship.
I seem to have women in my life from just about every decade that has preceded mine who have shared their life, their wisdom, their journey with me.
And with that wisdom, here is something that I have learned::
Being a woman with vinegar in her veins certainly is a gift.
And like any gift – there is also responsibility attached.
I have the ability to use my gift to make the world a better place,
and I have the ability to sour everything I leave in my wake.
In the land of blogs, and tweets, and instagrams, a person has the potential to create quite a fan club rather quickly. Our voices resound farther and are more widespread than ever before.
And women – I am noticing a trend.
I am noticing that many of our voices are laced with sarcasm and the calling out of another and regrettable phrases, such as “just sayin'”. And a woman who magnifies her own voice at the expense of another is not someone worthy of our admiration and following, but instead worthy of our suspicion and questioning.
The strength behind a woman who has vinegar in her veins is not found in
gossip, judgment, or the very sly, underhanded and destructive ability to
denounce another
under the auspices of advocating for the voiceless or those who have been
marginalized,
or for a cause close to one’s heart.
We are better than this, Ladies.
My dear friend and many other women who have come before us have fought long and hard so that I could be called a woman with vinegar in her veins and take pride in that badge of honor. If it were not for these pioneer women, the very gifts I have been given would most likely be suppressed and I am grateful to not have to enliven a Jane Austen character.
Treading wisely is not the same as treading carefully.
Please do not confuse the two.
Choose wisely, ladies, the voices you listen to, the blogs you follow, the company you keep.
Look to your elders – warrior women who have come before you – who speak from a place of wisdom yielded directly from experience.
The vinegar that flows through your veins is a gift.
Take good care of it.
Use it wisely, refrain from carelessness and pride.
Be cunning, not cautious.
Be humble – flow out of purpose, strength, and courage.
Link arms in accountability and solidarity.
Future generations are depending on us.
